Military personnel often spend a couple of years in each job, meaning numerous moves around the country and various deployments abroad. This constant ‘deployment mode’ means that families are used to spending time without their serving person, often in military accommodation on “married patches”. This way of living can lead to a default setting of solo-parenting ‘survival mode’. Although it is an important coping strategy, being accustomed to your loved one being away can delay the processing of grief and extend the possible denial of the death. Another secondary loss is the loss of a way of life and what it means to be a military spouse.

Learning to navigate military finances alone:

When somebody within the military dies, the spouse is given a Welfare Officer in some countries in the early days who helps with the funeral and initial finances. However, issues can arise long after that support ends and it can be difficult to navigate the various military payments, pensions, life policies and benefits such as military railcards. In addition, those who are living in military accommodation need to find a new home and there can be a huge amount of military kit and uniform that so many found emotionally overwhelming to deal with.

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